Season Eatings.....

Its the post Merry Christmas blues and I guess I have gotten past the stage of looking forward to presents. I remembered when I was young and I would look forward to what my mum would surprise me with. I guess that novelty that counts. Guess what my mum got me this year, she gave me 2 T-shirts and she gave me like 10 days before Christmas. People may say its the thought that counts. I agree but if my own mother does not know what I want, then who does? Presents become meaningful when someone out there pays enough attention to give you what you want, not something like T-shirts... like hello..... I know this entry sounds like a whiny teenager but hey, its Christmas season, cut me some slack.....

As I take this time to reflect on this past year, many things have happened, the good ones and the bad ones.... Work has been challenging but relationships have been even more. Emotions are jsut weird things to handle. I discovered that humans are just a bunch of ironic pieces of flesh. My friends concur with me on this: Those who are in a relationship can't wait to get out of it. Those who are not envy and wish they were in a relationship. Haiz... life is such an oxymoron... can't do with love and can't do without love... we live in such troubled times... you know, sometimes I wish I could be devoid of feelings. That way I would not have to be tormented by my inner demons every single day. Here is a survey, which pain is harder to bear? Physical pain or emotional pain? I say hands up to emotions. It can even make a grown man go on his knees and beg for mercy. Life is so wonderful with love around yet it can be a pain in the ass most times. We hate someone because we love them. We pin for someone because we love them. We miss someone because we love them. We let someone go because we love them. We TRY to forget someone because we love them. We feel hurt by someone because we love them... the list just keeps going on and on.

Its really sad when I hear my friend who has been in a relationship with this girl for 5 years and wanting to give up on her. Is time really a measure of how much one loves another person? How do you really know you love this person? I know my entries are all the lovey dovey sort but hey, all of us will come to this crossroad one day. I cannot help but stay fixated on this topic for this year. Have I ever been in love before? Hmm... that is a really good question to ponder on. How would you know whether you have been in love if you don't even know what it is. O well, life goes on. To me every relationship is a learning experience. You cannot say that the relationship was not fruitful. We all sacrificed and gained something from it. It is just sad that it has to be peppered with pain, hurt and disappointment.

I will just keep searching and trudge on to find the RIGHT one in my life. Who knows maybe if I took a few steps back, I may have found the one I was looking for RIGHT under my feet.

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her. ~Author Unknown